There's only two Dennis Bergkamps

Welcome back to solid ground my friend

So, here we are again. A nice little hiatus while I write lots of other blogs. It's strange that this was my first one, but I'm hoping it will stay for a while.

Back to the Arse. Reading back a few posts it seems that I sort of predicited what was going to happen with Henry and the captaincy. I think we will be better without him as long as we get off to a good start. If we carry our pre-season form in and get a few wins - which we should be able to do - then it will be gravy. If we lose to Fulham and Man City and don't score any goals then it will be doom and gloom and all about Henry. I think we will win both of those games.

I'm very confident in fact. Only because I am going to miss both games. Arse.

I holding on for a hero

Well, actually what we need is just a captain capable of shouting at a few people. I think this will probably be the last post of the season, funny how things drop off when we start playing shit isn't it? What could have been a brilliant end of season party turned into a damp squib as Chelsea failed to win the league but still came out winners. How's that?

It's because they have got balls. Essien is a machine, I think he's going to be one of the greats. And Terry despite being a despicable c*nt, never gives up. They had the bit between their teeth and with ten men against us at the Grove looked far the better side. Now, clearly they had to go for it and we didn't particularly but we should have won that game buy a mile. At no point did our Captain - Gilberto - stop for a second and say, 'look lads they are making us look like c*nts. Sort it out'. Gilberto has had a great season, he's performed very well and is a very intelligent player but he's not captain material. He's too quiet. My friend sat on the plane next to him going to Brasil once and he read the bible the whole way there. There's nothing wrong that per se, but I want the captian to be reading Bravo Two Zero by Andy Mcnab and plotting how to do one over on Ronaldo, Rooney and Lampard.

Is Henry the man to do that - probably not. My vote would go to Kolo. Or even Cesc. Crazy I know - but you can see it in his eyes. He wants it. He'll kill for it. Kill! Kill! Kill!

It aint looknig any better.

What follows is true. I didn't watch the Arsenal vs Liverpool game. I was at home, it was on TV, I wasn't doing anything - I was actually weeding the f**king garden. I'll admit I thought the game was on Sunday but when I turned on the TV to watch the cricket and saw a glimpse of the game we were 3-0 down in the 69th minute. I immediately switched over. Poor show. But we don't look like beatng anyone at the moment. If only the season really had ended when we lost to PSV.

Speaking of PSV it was so obvious that Liverpool would beat them (assuming they don't let in 4 at Anfield!). Had we got a goal in the first leg I honestly think the same thing would have happened. They are not a good side and when we scored at The Grove they went to pieces. We could have had a hatful.

Could have....

England are the new Spain

I can't remember the last time I actually watched a full England game. Actually, of course I can, it was when we lost to Portugal in the World Cup. Since then, McCalren's appointment and Lampard's continual involvement have ensured highlights at best, and at times, like Saturday's dismal draw against Israel, no interest whatsoever.

How can this be, when we have the best league everyone asks? It's the foreign players. Well it is in a sense but not the one that people always go on about. What happens is there are a few decent English players; Gerrard, Rooney (when he's not acting like a twat), Terry, ermmmm.....uhhhh....Cole, that's pretty much it isn't it? Let's be fair. The rest play for good club sides that are surrounded by great forgeing players. Lampard looks good for Chelsea week in week out because Essien is a fucking machine and Makalele's knows how to defend. If he had to do Gerrard's job at Chelsea all on his own he would be shown up as the ineffectual chump he really is (think back to the CCF - Diably / Denilson / Fab - were all streets ahead of him). It's not an anti Chelsea thing, Ray Parlour got a few caps for England and looked pretty good for Arsenal when he was supported by Petit, Viera and Overmars.

I think this is where th Spain thing comes in. I know a load of Spanish supporters who just cringe at the site of Spain trying to do anything in the world cup because they know their team is not good enough, even though Real / Barca / Valencia continue to play great football.

We need to accept that just because English club sides are great this doesn't mean that the national side will be any good. We also need to understand that for most of the England players they are far more successful at club level so that's where their loyalties lie.

Burn the witch, burn the witch!

No posts for while because it's all been so depressingly obvious. As stated in the last post I knew PSV would score a jammy goal, even though we dominated, and our season would come to an end. Thus it was. I also knew we wouldn't win at Everton and as the game went on thought we would lose.

Until we get some strikers back we are going to struggle to win another game this season, let alone hold onto third. My only hope is that by the time we face Chelsea at the end of the season they have either lost the title (and are out of the champions league) or, even better, they lose it at The Grove. Slim pickings and a pretty bad state of affairs when I couldn't even give a fuck that Man U are going to win the league. 

Champions League: The Fear

I have an overhwleming fear that we are going to play well tonight and win 2-1. Thus returning to the Champions League form of past seasons where we never really got beaten badly but just went out on an annoying away goal etc.

I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. But that's how it feels.

Half way around the world some things remain constant: Chelsea are c***s

So I have been away in California for 2 weeks. I managed to find a irish pub to watch the kids in the carling cup final. I texted my friend Dan before the game to say Theo to score. And sure enough up he pops with a cracker. At that point weren't we looking fine? I won't go into what happened next so much has been said. Of course there is some honour in losing, but like Keggers, I would have 'fucking loved it' etc etc...

Two things tho. I was in a pub in San Francisco lots of Arsenal a few chelsea. When Arsenal scored there was much good humoured merriment. When chelse scores it was all 'Fucking this, fucking cunts, come on Chelse etc etc'. And on the same theme what other club would seriously have fans throwing coins, bottles and celery at Cesc at a cup final? These idiots really are just clueless. It's depressing.

And finally. We lost it when Diaby went off. If he continues to put in performances like that he really will be the next Vieira. It's a big statement, but he's a big lad. What he needs is a song. Diaby, woah, woah, Diaby, woah, he comes from....ermmm....ermmm?

Moody, moi?

If ever Thierry Henry does anything less than perfect the media always pounce on him. I'm sure this pisses him off, like when he was criticised for flying to Dubai to play golf and he retorted, 'It's my day off I'll do what I like', but I'm also sure it's water off a ducks back.

Take last night's incident with Kirkland. It's really, as Wenger points out, no big deal but because it's Henry it becomes a big deal. It's because he is usually so squeaky clean and seen as a role model than these things get blown out of proportion. Think about it. Who are the positive role models in football? Rooney - as he effs and blinds at the ref?; Ronaldo, the winker?; Drogba, I mean forget about the diving, the hair!? And before that, Roy Keane, Van Nistleroy? There is no one. Steven Gerrard probably comes closest but is obviously not as good looking as Henry.

So, sorry Thierry, looks like you have to carry the burdern and suffer the consequences when you don't live up to the dream. And don't worry about being moody. You're a genius - and French - of course you're going to be fucking moody!

Oh yeah - can I get a rewind?

I forgot to correct myself - got a bit carried away - of course the Carling Cup is not at Wembley. This is good becuase I wouldn't be able to go anyway becuase I am stateside. I wonder what the chances of watching the final is at 8.am in San Francisco are?

Also, I said before the Spurs semi that I had a funny feeling that we were going to lose because I threw a piece of paper in the bin - it missed and obviously that meant we were going to miss out. We didn't. This doesn't prove that this kind of hoodoo doesn't work, just that it didn't this time around. And I say I'm not religious.

The Kids 3 The Y***s 1

It's been a while since my last post, mainly because after the Carling Cup Semi against Spurs I have been ill in bed. I shouldn't have gone out that night but knew it would be a cracker. Much has been said, the funniest of which was that The Kids would beat the current England team.  I agree, not because The Kids are the most amazing thing on the planet, far from it, more because England are so laughably woeful at the moment. Wenger has said on record that club football has surpassed international football in every regard. Once again, he's spot on - much as that pains all the British media.

On the way to the Wigan game yesterday I saw loads of T-shirts with The Kids 1 The Yids 3. I have to say in this day and age I do find this slightly offensive. I'm not religious in any way and usually would always come down on the side of a good pun (and it is a great line) but it's time to move on. Why even get into this when there are so many other legitimate ways to take the piss out of spurs.